Top 10 Last Place Punishments

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Fantasy Hockey drafts are right around the corner, which sadly will be the highlight of the season for 90% of your league. One of the major drawbacks to fantasy sports is that in any given 12-person league, 11 people leave with varying levels of disappointment.

If you’re not quite good enough to be a playoff team, it can be hard staying involved and entertained throughout the fantasy season. It sucks to start 1-5, or 12-47-13. Bad starts in one-year redraft leagues usually lead to people giving up on their teams, and the quality of the league usually suffers because of it.

So how do you keep the basement of your league competitive? Many leagues have begun instituting last place punishments, to keep managers honest all season long. Traditionally, these punishments range from financial (i.e. loser buys a dinner for the league) to the borderline-dangerous (i.e. chug something gross, or a lot of something alcoholic) to the truly shameful and embarrassing (i.e. hire John Tortorella to coach your World Cup team. Wait, USA did that on their own).

Here are The Puck Exchange’s top 10 Last Place Fantasy Hockey Punishments:

  1. Have a post-league party, Loser buys the beers.
  2. Loser must wear a full Don Cherry Suit for a week, at his expense, to all social engagements including work.
  3. Next time the Blackhawks come to Buffalo, Loser drives Patrick Kane back from the bar after the game. Loser must accept any savage beatings that may come with good natured enthusiasm.
  4. Loser must make a donation worth the equivalent of the entry fee to any charity or cause of the winner’s choosing.
  5. Loser is forbidden to turn on TSN or Sportsnet for hockey-related programming, and must watch only American coverage of the NHL for the entirety of next season.
  6. Loser can’t pick his name next year, has to use a name voted on by league suggestions. Everybody gets a vote except the loser.
  7. Loser has to spend two hours in a room with Michel Therrien.
  8. Loser has to watch every Blue Jackets preseason game next year and write a 1000 word essay about the nuances of each.
  9. Loser has to play Fantasy F-1 Racing next year.
  10. Loser has to legitimately cheer for Las Vegas and passionately support whatever ridiculous name they choose on social media.

Add your favorites in the comments…

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